Acceptance – a way to build great relationships

‘Acceptance’ is one behavior which can go a long way in not only building great relationships, it can provide you ‘self’  with immense satisfaction and happiness.

acceptance-road-sign biggest stressor for people in their life is their inability to accept themselves for who they are and to accept others for who they are.  This leads to tremendous conflict within self.

Whenever you are stressed out or angry in a relationship, just pause for a moment and think if your inability to ‘accept’ is coming in the way.  You will find your answers.

Let me provide you with some behaviors which can help you lead a more stress free life;

  • Accepting that people are different and unique
  • Accepting that people do not necessarily see the world the way you see
  • Accepting the fact that you cannot expect others to be the way you are
  • Accepting the power and right of others to make their choices
  • Accepting the right of others to disagree with you

you can add more of your own….

By now I hope you are willing to ‘accept’ what I am trying to say?

Provocation – a tool for igniting action!

Come to think of it, provocation has been since time immemorial used as an effective tool to ignite or elicit action.  While most of the time unfortunately its been related to negativity.  In reality, it can be used both for the good and bad.

Let’s look at some examples of using provocation for triggering positive action.

  1. ‘I do not think you have enough strength or courage to jump over this wall’ – to provoke a child to climb over the wall.
  2. ‘I don’t think you can solve this puzzle, its not easy’ – to provoke someone to take up problem solvingprovocation
  3. ‘Come on, waking up early is not for you.  I don’t think you have the will or the gumption to wake up early’ – to provoke someone to wake up early for an early morning walk.
  4. ‘Do you think you will be able to bite this chilly and still stay in your chair without jumping for a glass of water’ to provoke someone to try eating a chilly 🙂
  5. ‘I don’t want to give you the answer to your question, by doing so, I will be insulting your intellect’ – a provocation for making people think through and come with answers on their own.

I don’t think you really understood a bit of what I am trying to tell through this….. 🙂

 

 

Path to ‘Happiness’

It takes a few hard knocks before you learn some important lessons in life.  One I learnt from my Doc, when I was reportedly down with high stress and blood pressure, carrying all kinds of aches and pains, not getting a good night sleep.  Must confess, was lucky to have scraped through all that

What was the important piece of advice which came from my Doc?  He said, “The day you stop expecting others to be like you, all your stress will be gone and you will be more happier and contented”.  He left me with this advice and asked me to take off from work for a week.

The advice kept coming back to my mind as I relaxed at home,pathtohappiness bringing back all memories of my stressful moments in life and making me realize that each time I was stressed, I was really-really expecting others to be, do, behave or act as I would do.  When they did on the contrary, I used to get agitated, angry, wild and deeply distressed.  Constantly complaining to myself about why people can’t see reason, why they can’t act sensibly and so on…..

That is when I saw the true meaning of what my Doctor friend had told me.  I decided then to keep this as my magic mantra for a stress free life.

There has been no more aches, pains, and sleepless nights thereafter.

Body- the chariot; intellect- the driver and sense organs-the horses

Ratha kalpana – the symbolic chariot in Bhagavad Gita is a very powerful metaphor. The chariot is our body
and our intellect is its driver. Our mind is the rope and the five sense organs are the five horses pulling the chariot in the battlefield. The horses i.e., the sense organs travel through the senses. The sum total of the combination of various experiences involving sound, touch, form, taste and smell constitute life in this world.

For example, the horse of ‘ear’ travels through the path of sound. The path of smell is reserved for the nose. Likewise, each sense organ is associated with its corresponding sense object.

In this travel, if we have the intellect as the charioteer, there will be no trouble. But in many a time, the fickle mind will try to take decisions pretending to be the intellect. We must be able to detect this.5_lesson

Fickle mind is like a monkey, but the intellect is calm and steady like the mighty monkey, Sri. Hanuman. The flag symbol of the chariot of our body should not be a mere monkey (kapi- always moving), but it must be the best among monkeys -Hanuman- himself who is steadfast in his resolves.

The Gita aims at helping fickle minded individuals to develop the power of determination. If the driver loses his goal of destination, the sense organs will not behave well. If the charioteer is awakened as Sri Krishna, he will easily cross the ocean of Samsara (the sea of ephemeral world) to attain VaikunTa, the abode of the Truth.

The world hitherto considered as sorrowful will become conducive to our own nature and attain the state of VaikunTa.

Stationed between the two armies, Arjuna critically observes the people with whom he must fight indicating introspection of our own thoughts and actions. We have to identify early which are the emotions in us to be destroyed and for this a mental war is inevitable. Once we win over this internal war, we will not ever have to encounter any external wars.

Lesson from the Bhagvad Gita.

 

Lessons from the journey of Crucifixion and Resurrection!

Every story has something to tell us and so is the one from the life of Christ!

It is for sometime playing and replaying in my mind the whole journey of crucifixion of Jesus and his subsequent resurrection and I wondered why it was coming to my mind as I became deeply contemplative about it.

If you have seen a movie depicting the scenes leading up to the whole process, you would find striking similarity with your own journey of life.

Resurrection-LogoThe fact that in that journey the ‘Cross’ signifies the burden of your life which you only have to carry; the lashes from the soldiers signify the pains you have to endure in reaching your goals; the wailing people on the roadside who signify all those who care for you; the people who risk being lashed at, still coming forward to give water are your friends; the people who throw stones are your critics.  Learning to embrace all of these as it is your natural process of growth and evolution into a greater human being is the biggest lesson.  You would find in the story that Jesus, never for once flinches at whatever is happening, as he accepts the fact that it is a process of greater evolution and he intends to teach that lesson.

The fact that he lays on the Cross for 3 days signifies that it took time for him to let go of all attachments and it was really a painful process.  However, when he is able to do that and forgive and forget all those who pained him; he is able to let go.  The resurrection signifies a new you.

Remember, each of you carry your own ‘Cross’ and you have to go through the journey everyday with the belief that you will resurrect yourself to a higher level.

Are you willing to let go???

 

The idea of ‘Possession’ – and the ‘Undying Spirit’

Our entire life revolves around the great idea of ‘possession’.

However, it relates to all that is material and is visible to the naked eye or that which can be perceived by or tasted by our sense organs. Parents possessiveness of children, in turn their possessiveness of their play things, possessing wealth, relationships, friendship, land, objects and any such thing that is material.

In fact this whole idea of possessing is temporary.  All that which is material is one day going to be depleted, extinguished or become extinct.  An understanding of this fact is what makes you more stable and calm in your mind; keeps you away from conflicts; anger; deception and all that gets you stressed.
The only thing which forever lives or is undying is your ‘Spirit’ or consciousness.  It lives on even in your absence.  It is also that which cannot be lost to or possessed by someone else.  It is your only possession which cannot be taken away from you.

I am not suggesting that you give away all your pursuits and sit and meditate; but giving you an idea that will keep you de-stressed at all times.

 

Proof that you are an image of ‘God’! Actually you are one!

Often we use the term ‘God willing’ in anticipation of a future happening or intended outcome.  ‘Will’ is that embedded code in all of us, which helps us to accomplish what we want in the future.  This only goes to prove that ‘God’ didn’t want us to be any different but created us in his own image.

The problem arises when we fail to understand this and stop using the power of our ‘Will’ to accomplish or create what we want.  When we start doubting ourselves, start depending upon astrological charts and predictions, our past karma etc., is when we start going away from our ‘Godliness’.

Your ‘Will’ is what makes you a human ‘being’ and not using it will only make you inert like a stone, an inanimate object – being kicked around by the vagaries of life and so called ‘fate’.

If ever you have ‘Willed’ something and accomplished it, remember, it is the same quality which ‘God’ possesses and it is what goes to prove that you are created in his image and you are one yourself.

‘Where there is a ‘Will’ there is ‘Life’.

 

The surprise of ‘change’ and why people seldom do!

‘You have not changed one bit’; ‘You have changed quite a bit’; ‘I never expected you to change so much’; ‘When things are going well, why
change?

A few of the many statements you hear about ‘change’. Most of change-samethese, somehow communicate that ‘change’ is not really socially acceptable. In fact, when people make statements like ‘What I like in you is that you have remained the same’, is testimony to this fact.

The negative talk surrounding the word ‘change’ is so much that most dread to think of a change; resist change and do only if they are pushed to a corner. Such forced change is also not a happy change, as it has not come from a positive desire or state.

You may want to reflect on what have been your experiences of change. Have you got positive vibes when you changed?

Sree Kumar Palakkal

 

Who do you want a ‘Teacher’ or a ‘Master’

A teacher likes the status quo and is always looking to follow the beaten path. A teacher says and does whatever seems acceptable to society. He has nothing to offer of his own, nor a knowledge that comes out of his own experience.

A master is the one who can bring us out of our age-old conditioning. He is there to awaken us from our hypnotic state. He makes us aware of our oriMaster or Teacher.jpgginal reality, to the reality around us, and to the reality of our future evolution as an enlightened being. For this he provokes us and creates a friction of energy so that we can come out of our unconscious state. He questions the status quo and encourages others to do so. He doesn’t impose his ideas on others. He is a eternal seeker and is happy to be part of the journey.

More importantly, a Master allows us to ‘just be’ ourselves.

Who do you want?

“Certainly a Master. We learn from a Teacher, but not necessarily follow him, where as we follow a Master. That’s because teacher teaches based on the knowledge acquired, where as a master leads his life as his teaching.”

And don’t we exactly look at that in a person who is trying to guide us. He has to ‘Walk-the-Talk’. Leads to more acceptance and respect. “Yes, that’s precisely the reason we remember only a few of our teachers, from the numerous ones we have interacted with in all our years of school and college. Teachers come and go. Masters leave their impressions on our lives”.

That’s why I will be more than happy to have one master than many teachers. On the contrary when i reflect back, i have had my encounters with many teachers and don’t really seem to have come across a true master. What I mean is a person who will allow me to be ‘Just Me’.

One of my friends told me, hey Sree, “You are your own master, since you have followed your heart” I must confess, at times I do tend to myself forget this very strong belief which I have carried with me always.

Shows the need for a mirror.

Sree Kumar Palakkal

The need for “Intellectual Attunement”

You can derive maximum pleasure and satisfaction from your actions, only when you have complete knowledge of what you are doing. Any action produces an outcome, however, actions which are not backed up by knowledge, may at most surprise you than allow you to take maximum advantage of it.

That is precisely the reason why you find so many people attenAttunementding ‘Yoga classes” and “Shivirs” of great masters, trying to ape and repeat whatever is demonstrated, yet not getting any fitter.

Similarly, a weapon can be dangerous in your hands, if you do not know its functionality and intricate details. You may end up shooting yourself in the foot.

There is a need for being “Intellectually attuned” to your actions, else all efforts will be futile and not provide you with inner peace and satisfaction.

Sree Kumar Palakkal