Are you feeling like this? Time to take charge!

You are exhausted. When you get home, you drop your work bag and realize you forgot to send an e-mail to your supervisor about an upcoming project. You grit your teeth as you run to pick up your laptop. stressed out

The clock says 8:00 p.m. and you feel like you haven’t had a minute to yourself since this morning. As you think about your day, you realize, you haven’t!

It is your company’s busy season so the last few days have been packed with meetings and an upcoming, with a Friday project deadline. You send the e-mail, make a two-minute noodle for dinner, and sit back down at your computer. You plan to get a few more things done on the project before leaving for work tomorrow morning. As you work, you receive text messages from your boss who is wanting to know some updates on the project. You answer the texts and think about checking Facebook but decide against it as you just have too much to do.

You have a status update meeting first thing in the morning and you want to be able to show considerable progress on the project. At 10:30 p.m., you shut your computer, go to bed, and have a hard time falling asleep because you are thinking about everything you need to finish this week.

Does this sound like someone you know? Many people today are struggling with the ability to manage time with so much work to do and personal/ family lives to manage. Technology has certainly made working longer hours easier, as we are always in touch with the office. What we can tend to forget is the importance of managing our stress levels so we can function more effectively.

In this situation, having no free time during the day may work for a few days but isn’t a healthy long-term solution.

If you have often found yourself feeling this way, it’s high time you paused; took a deep breath and look at managing your time and stress.

In the rush to meet your deadlines – you may end up ‘dead’ at the end of the line.

‘Perception’ influences Human Relations?

That many aspects impact our human relations and ‘perception’ is important.

Perception is the recognition and interpretation of sensory stimuli based upon our memory.  In other words, it is the way you interpret data around you. The data may come from sight, smell, touch, taste, and hearing.

How we perceive is also based on our personality, attitude, knowledge, experiences, values which we have acquired over the years.  They somehow put things in a ‘box’.  Therefore, it becomes at times difficult to relate to others if ‘perceptual sets’ do not match.

Perception

It’s like trying to put a square peg in a round hole.

The challenge with perception in human relations is that we may not always understand someone else’s perception and/or assume their perception is our own. This is where disagreements and other communication issues can occur.

For example, if you perceive that your spouse is too focused on spending time with friends, your interactions with him/her will be based upon this perception. You may perceive him/her to be distant/disinterested in you. It could make you frustrated and short tempered.

At work as well; perceptions can also cause miscommunications. For example, you may perceive your coworker to be lazy because he always arrives to work at 9:15 a.m. and the start time is 9 a.m.

Suppose he has a differently abled child with a special need, and the school where he drops him/her doesn’t open until 9 a.m.? Perhaps he has already informed your human resources team of which you are unaware. This perception can be a dangerous one, since we don’t have all of the facts.

Remember, your perceptions are completely dependent on the facts you possess at that time.  It may not be complete and can be detrimental to your human relations.

Next time when you find it difficult to relate to others, just ask yourselves the question – Is it my perception or do I have complete facts?

Am I trying to fit a ’Square Peg’ in a ‘Round hole’?

Why are people ‘stingy’ in their praise?

Why are people ‘stingy’ in their praise?

It’s often very easy for people to be ‘critical’ of others.  At the same time I find that people are very ‘stingy’ in their praise’.

PraiseWhat makes them this way?  Is it that they do not find themselves worthy of such praise?; or Is it that they feel that it will make the other complacent? or is it that they feel it will give the others a feeling of superiority? or simply we have been told from childhood that the only way to help and improve people is by ‘critical’ evaluation.

Whatever be the reason, I feel that a ‘praise’ or little ‘compliment’ goes a long way in making the day for others.  Instead of making them complacent, it surely will make them more ‘responsible’ in living up to the expectation of the person giving them that praise.  In fact every human looks for a daily does of praise which will keep him motivated and feeling worthy of his life.

Do not lie? Don’t you look for some yourself?  Don’t you feel delighted within when you receive praise?

Then why is it that you find it hard to dish out some ‘praise’ to others?

Don’t be stingy – give some praise!

I am looking for some from you as well 🙂

What’s your ‘Attitude’?

Whats’ your ‘Attitude’?

There are many ways to define attitude, I find the three checkpoints below to be the most helpful. They make it clear not only what your attitude is made of but also how it affects what you do.

1. How You begin?

Before heading for a long distance travel or vacation, I eattitudexpected a relaxing and enjoyable time. This is the first piece of your attitude: it is what you expect before something happens.

For me, I expected good things. Someone with a more negative bent—at least in relation to traveling—would predict rough times ahead.

2. How You Experience It?

The second piece of your attitude is the way in which you gauge your experience.

Do you notice what is going wrong? Going well? Somewhere in between?

When I go out for dinner with my family or friends I always lookout for the reactions or responses of people who I accompany. In one such instance I was particularly drawn in by an experience. A friend noticed how noisy the restaurant was, how disinterested the waiter seemed, how dull the ambience was, and how bad the food tasted.  During the same party another friend sitting next to me said he loved the atmosphere, the ambience and the taste of food at the place.  He said he is a regular here and loves the service here.

Two attitudes looking for very different things and providing two different experiences of the same place.

3. How You Leave?

The last and equally important role your attitude plays occurs at the end of a situation or experience. At this point, your attitude affects the way you sum things up.

I was watching a competition-based reality show the other night and, when two people were sent home, they were given the chance to talk to the camera one last time.

They were asked what was their experience being part of the reality show. One reflected on the friendships he had made and the good times he had had spending time with fellow competitors of the show.

The other was angry and frustrated. For him, the experience was a waste of time. He felt that the jury was biased, the competition rules were too twisted and favoured a few and somehow everyone seemed to be conspiring to get rid of him from the show. Attitude strikes again.

Watch your ‘Attitude’

If you ever want to change your attitude and be positive, you must first observe and make note or keep log of your responses to the 3 questions i.e., How you begin?; How you experience? and How your leave?

If you find yourself being overly negative, you now just have to change the way you ‘respond’.

Fighting your ‘fears’ – lessons from turbulence

It was one flight which left a deep scar in my psyche and put the fear of flying in me.  On a late night flight in a propellor aircraft, we met with severe air turbulence and the aircraft was as if being thrown up and down and sideways by such force, it appeared like a toy in the hands of some powerful force.  It included a sudden drop of maybe 100 ft. I suppose, with all the passengers frightened to theirTransform fear into action concept bone; screaming their lungs out for the ordeal to end.  It lasted almost 15 minutes and finally when we landed it was as though all of us had taken rebirth.

Fast forward – while post that ordeal ‘turbulence’ ever so little brought back memories and the tinge of fear in me, a similar experience brought an entirely new dimension towards my handling of ‘inner-fear’.

This time, I was travelling with my son on a holiday and it was his first flight.  We met with unexpected turbulence and a very similar situation.  However, this time around I was looking at my son and smiling at him, demonstrating a lot of courage in the face of adverse situation.  Not for a moment, I was reminded of the earlier ordeal.  In fact, I seemed to have enjoyed the whole process with my Son and we were quite literally laughing away at the sight of some of the frightened passengers clutching on to their seats.

So, what brought about this transformation in me?  Come to think of it, I did have some fear, however, I didn’t want my son to see me to be in a fearful, nervous and stressed state.  I wanted to project a confident ‘ME’ to him.  I told myself that I cannot for a moment show nervousness, or fear or stress lest he get frightened.  The interesting point is that I was able to ‘project’ this image very well.

Why was I able to do it?

The fact is that I felt a higher sense of ‘responsibility’ towards my son and his well being, which made me forget my own fears.

The lesson I learnt from this is that you can fight your fears, find your courage if you can find a ‘higher sense of responsibility’ in your life.

Go find it…..

Life is an ‘illusion’ / ‘maya’ if you fail to choose…

When you fail to choose for yourself and also fail to acknowledge that you are making the choices – everything looks like an ‘illusion’ or ‘maya’.  In this space you do not have any control over the happenings or the outcomes.

This can lead to a lot of paradoxes in life for you, which may leave you confused, frustrated and with a belief that you have very little control on the happenings on in this universe.  It starts to feel that you are living in an illusionary world and life is all ‘maya’ which is difficult to comprehend.

However, you can free yourself from this state by taking a first step – Acknowledging that you are the one who is making the choices in your life and the outcom

illusions

es are purely the result of your choice.  When you own up, you start to move away from the uncontrollable world of ‘illusions’ and ‘maya’ and feel in a better space.

For example in the accompanying picture – What do you see? an old lady or a pretty woman?  isn’t it your choice? isn’t it
the way you are looking at the pic? or is it not real at all?  do you acknowledge that the painting exists? Same is with life…

Are you ready to make the choice?  Are you ready to accept that you are making the choices?

 

Is your life on ‘Auto Pilot’?

Most people don’t usually take control of that moment: too often we react instantly, automatically, impulsively. This is a huge reason wrong thinking occurs.

AutopilotI’m not talking about identifying objects, I’m talking about assigning meaning to experiences or observations—often incorrectly.

For instance: someone makes a comment about you, and you interpret the comment as an attack. You begin defending yourself, and in the ensuing interaction, harsh words are spoken, maybe even worse. I’ve experienced this phenomenon many times, on both the giving and receiving end of the error.

Or maybe you see someone at work, or on the street, and you automatically form an impression about that person in your mind, which may bear no relation to who they really are;

Or you read a post in a forum, and you create this story in your mind about another person, without having any idea what’s actually going on in their life;

Or you’re thinking about something someone said yesterday, and you decide “that must mean she doesn’t like me,” and then all your ensuing thoughts proceed along that assumption, though it may not be true;

Or you hear a rumor about some guy cheating on his wife, and you instantly form a judgment about the guy, though there’s no proof he actually did it yet;

Such examples pop up all day, every day, everywhere. Snap-judgments, knee-jerk reactions. Mental habits, thought-patterns. “Automatic pilot” thinking.

Like the man on the bus with the kids jumping around and screaming, and you’re thinking how inconsiderate it is, and you ask him to please rein his kids in; and he apologizes and explains that their mother died that day, and they don’t know how to handle their loss; and you feel awful.

In the moment after the phenomenon occurs, we have an opportunity, before our automatic judgment or evaluation kicks in: we can pause a moment, deliberately choose to exercise right thinking, and ask ourselves: is this really true, or is it just some story I instantly created? Is my idea of this person reality, or is it just a fabrication of my mind?

Why not practice ‘Observing without Evaluating?  Going through experiences without labelling them.

While being on ‘Auto Pilot’ is a necessary condition for most of our day-to-day actions, when it gets in the way of our personal growth it is time to take control.

This is particularly required to improve the quality of your relationships.

Are you ready?

Stop! Exercise

Stop! Exercise

The Stop Exercise is very famous in the Gurdjieff Work. 

The Stop Exercise is said to be impossible to do on your own. The aim is to immediately stop whatever you’re doing and freeze in that position, mentally, emotionally and physically, so that you can observe your current inner state.

The command to Stop should come from an external impartial source such as a group instructor or designated assistant or even a randomly activated computer program.

When you Stop, you should remain immobile and obsSTOP EXERCISEerve the state of your physical, emotional and intellectual centers and evaluate whether you were Self Remembering  or were Identified. You should attempt to note your physical position and Sensations, your level of emotional arousal, and the thoughts occurring in your intellectual center.

Observe your physically state – were you in a position of stable balance or an awkward, off-balance position? Were you aware of the sensations of your body? Observe your emotional state – were you worried, angry, depressed, happy, etc.? Were you aware of your emotional sensations? Observe your intellectual state – were you thinking about the past or future or what other people thought about you, or how you would get revenge, etc? Observe if you were you aware of your surrounding environment or lost in an inner world of subjective concerns?

STOP RIGHT NOW!

I’m that……

I’m that……

Understand this as I’m that and purge the rest

Shake off your beliefs of religion and power

I was there before and will be after

I am there when you see light

I will be there when you see darkness

From the depth of the grave to the blue sky

I’m that

What use of reading religious texts

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When you understand not a word you quaff

What use of retiring to the jungles

 

and not absorb the dew drops from leaves

I’m that

What use of retiring to the high mountains

Reaching the summit

and not absorb the path you walk

I’m that

What use is of prostrating and bowing one’s head

and not absorb the stone you lie

I’m that

What use of fasting

and not absorb the grain

I’m that

What use of breathing in and then out

and not absorb the life

I’m that

The touch you feel

The eyes that see

The smell you get

The pain you experience

The joy you get

I’m that

From the face you see in the mirror and

the people who love you

the people who care for you

the people who hate you

the people who despise you

the people who support you and

the shoulder you lean on

I’m that

Absorb this truth….. I’m this and I’m that

GOD – is a planted idea?

GOD – is a planted idea?

There is reason to believe that the idea of ‘GOD’ has been carefully planted and stories told and retold by the ruling class in order to control the people they rule.  Religion has been the medium.in_the_beginning_man_created_god_square_magnet-r59cf1b2af78c4b4b8352f4493c593783_x7j3u_8byvr_324

Precisely the reason that you find only the ruling class which gets very agitated, reactive and violent when you question the very idea of ‘GOD’ which they claim to believe, propound or propagate. It is very strategic without their direct involvement.

The rulers created messengers or the interpreters who claimed to be the authority on these very ideas and planted them amongst the people so that the needle of suspicion doesn’t directly fall on them.

Mind you this is not specific to any religion.  It is a strategy used universally.

The proof also lies in the fact that you will be treated as a pariah if you try and interpret GOD and Religion in any other way than what has been prescribed.  Did I say ‘prescribed’?  The very fact that it is a prescription is a give-away.  Even the messengers get very disturbed if you come with a contrarian view.

You also find that the so-called places of worship are more a demonstration of the power and grandeur of the rulers.  The very pompous nature of the ruling class in these places of worship is another indication of this fact.

Why does GOD need all the money, grand throne, grandiose premises?  Isn’t he omnipresent?  or Does GOD exist at all?