
The Gift of Self-Care – THE CRITICAL DIALOGUE – LIFE AT WORK
There is something like ‘Cycle of Change’, which all of us go through in our life. Acknowledging where we are in this cycle and having the belief that the wheel of life keeps revolving all the time should give us the confidence of moving ahead.
Let me broadly describe the four stages in this cycle and you may want to see where you are at this moment.
Breakthrough stage: A time of big changes, disruptions, when you experience a feeling of insecurity or excitement. Someone experiencing this stage in life will make statements like “I’ve no idea what I am going to do now'”, ” I am at cross-roads now”, “I’ve no idea of my next move” , “I got a shock of my life”, “I am too excited about the prospects, and have butterflies in my stomach”, “I ‘m just anxious about the outcome”.
Has any change impacted your sense of identity, sense of direction, living conditions or support system?
Do you see a huge gap between what you want and what you have right now?
Answering “Yes” to any of these questions or thoughts could mean that you are right now in the midst of change and it is time for a change.
Vaccum stage: This is totally in contrast to the earlier stage. In this you will have a feeling of being stuck. A sort of non-change time. You might be saying things like “Nothing is happening”, “I feel stuck”, “I don’t really know how I will get past this blocks”, “I am trying but nothing is changing”, “Nothing is going right for me”, “Looks like life has almost come to a standstill”.
Do you feel helpless or hopeless?
Does life seem out of control or are you unable to see a clear path of direction?
Does it all feel meaningless right now?
All of us go through this disconnected stage, where we feel lonely, with a feeling that we have to fight this battle on our own and no one is with us or supporting us in this hour. The best way to move on from this stage is to acknowledge that something is not working, sharing with others your concerns to relieve yourself from the stress, getting advice and involve others a little more into your life. You don’t need to fight this battle all alone.
Remember the biggest mistake at this stage would be to assume that you can achieve everything on your own and you do not need anyone’s help or advice.
Start asking questions, like what is it that I really want? Am I suffering alone because of my pride? Is my ego coming in the way of my growth and success? Do I feel others around me are not good enough or better than me? Do I have the courage, to seek help?
Bounce back stage: After a period of stagnating and loss, people often see good things happen. Perhaps, all along you have been having a hard time and suddenly, something wonderful happens. You start saying things like “Wow, can’t really complain, life couldn’t have been better”, ”You won’t believe, what just happened”, “You know what, I’ve finally got what I really wanted or was looking for”, “I am just feeling excited about the whole prospect”.
This stage in your life is all about positive energy and you feel it. It starts opening new doors for you. You start seeing new strengths in yourself and accomplishing things which makes you feel good. You start loving every bit of what you are doing right now. Hope returns and your faith in yourself is re-ignited.
Do you feel motivated again? A light at the end of the tunnel?
Do you feel that the lessons of the past are now starting to help you achieve more?
Have you again started trusting your intuition?
All this goes to show that either you are starting to bounce back or you are ready for the next stage in the cycle of change in your life.
Life balance stage: After the bounce back has begun and gained momentum, you enter a steady phase of life, where you feel normal again. You finally start saying “I am in cruise mode, and am really enjoying what I am doing right now”, “It’s just perfect for me and everything has worked out the way I wanted”, “I really would want this phase to continue forever”, “Finally I seem to be having some time for myself” .
All this means that you are back to life again, feeling every bit lively, feeling great when you wake up in the morning, enjoying what you are doing right now, feeling that greater prospects lie ahead of you, wanting to take up new interests and activities. Congratulations, you have arrived at the most wonderful part of the cycle.
Remember, to enjoy each and every moment of it. After all, we call this the ‘Cycle of Change’ and it goes in circles.