“You see, as a person I am pretty straight-forward” – whenever someone tells me this, I start to wonder or maybe it’s just me who feels this way; It sounds like someone starting a sentence using “with all due respect…”.

Especially so, when someone tells me this during an interview, I tend to take it with a pinch of salt.  I feel that “straight-forward” is basically a phrase used by people to justify being rude, disrespectful, abrasive and impolite.

I would like to tell such people, I will assess you for “what you say” and not by “what you call yourself”.

When you use such terms to describe yourselves, you might come across as a jerk.  Imagine me telling you “I am charismatic” tch… tch…

There are many such awesome adjectives which describe a person but are well served when others use it to describe you rather than you doing it yourself.

Let me indulge you with a few self-indulgent descriptors.  I call them self-indulgent as most people who use these adjectives to describe their self are possibly “so full of themselves”

Self-disciplined – Most self-disciplined persons, you would agree, struggle or try hard to stay disciplined.  They know that it is a constant struggle to be disciplined.

Passionate – If you are passionate let your ‘deeds’ display your passion not your words. It might come across as ‘over the top’ when you call yourselves very passionate about some things in life.

Loving – I see some people writing about themselves like “I am a loving parent, doting husband….”  Let the others decide my friend as to how loving you are.  Let your spouse decide the extent of your love.  Don’t self-proclaim.

Fearless – Oh! for god’s sake don’t say that.  Everyone is afraid.  It’s now a cliché’ to state “courage is not the absence of fear, but doing it in spite of fear”

Adaptable – If you agree that “change is the only constant” then proclaiming yourselves to be adaptable is no big deal.  Everyone is.  Nothing in this world stays the same.  It’s constantly changing and you ought to have been adaptable to have reached this far.

Independent – it’s a good thing.  The ability to care for yourselves with minimal support or dependence on others.  Most people cover up their lack of team playing skills or their lack of followership ability by calling themselves independent. “It’s not that I don’t like people or being in teams, I just like to be independent” – sounds familiar?

Open – You all know how ‘open’ a person is by the behavior he displays in his interactions with you.  In many interactions you would have found this claim to be so hypocritical.  If you want to know what I mean here, you can go check with employees who have worked with managers who claim that they are ‘open’.

Honest – you will agree, a person’s honesty is measured by the people who have transacted with him / her.

 Helpful – let the others decide how helpful are you.  It will be visible in your actions.

 You can think of many more like “I am giving, empathetic, understanding, confident, dependable…..”  Which are best observed and described by others.

I know you claim yourselves to be “direct”.. Ha… Ha…. But please do not use this as a justification to blast me for this post.

Have you indulged yourselves in some of these?  You are ‘reflective’ after all” 😊

SO PLEASE DON’T CALL YOURSELVES “UNDERSTANDING”