Leaders would do well to understand that micro-managing is like the helicopter parent who is seemingly disapproving of all that their team members do.

I was trying to relate this one to my own personal experience and found it so relevant that I chose to share with you some insights that I gained.

This was about 30 years back when my wife and I were dating.  Being brought up in a conservative family environment where all decisions in your life were taken by parents, was blasphemous, to say the least.  Those were the days when parents thought that all that they did was in the best interests of the family and they were always ‘right’.

They were disapproving of our relationship and did all in their power to stop us from seeing each other.  That included, for my poor partner being locked up for days at home to character assassination of yours truly to extremes like threats to disown us.

The interesting thing about all these attempts was that the more they did of these, the closer and tighter we became in our relationship.  We started to find immense strength from each other’s company and felt like having the power to take on the world.  There was something very unnerving of about parents meddling in their children’s affairs that appeared to motivate us kids to rebel.

I realized that the more I was told to refrain from doing something, the more resolute I became in continuing.  The idea became more and more appealing to me and my partner.

The lesson here is that talking more and offering suggestions often were counterproductive and had low success rates.  Isn’t it similar to smokers still continuing to smoke despite all the graphic pictures and symbols shown on the pack?  I am sure you can relate to this when anyone tries to hard sell you an idea and the way you dig in your heels to oppose or stall it with vigor.

The harder we are pushed, the harder we resist!

Today, absenteeism, non-cooperation, and employee disengagement are early warning signs of a micro-managing boss.   

Employee turnover is the ultimate act of defiance against the leaders who have been guilty of micro-managing and giving little or no autonomy to their employees.

As with parenting, leaders need to be less controlling and more supportive and facilitative in their approach.  All the more important for leaders who are working with Gen Z, Gen X, and Gen Alphas.

Any attempt to control can lead to what social psychologists call the “Romeo and Juliet” effect.  As was the case with me and my partner.  The impact of that is still relevant.

As a leader,

Are you someone who enjoys the ‘spotlight’?

Have you started feeling ‘lonely’ at the top?

Are you still feeling ‘a lack’, despite achieving a lot of success?

Then, it’s time to take a long hard look at what you have to offer to ‘life’.  It is time to start looking inwards and reconcile the dissonance that is embedded deeply in you.

Leadership Qualities – From ‘Good’ to ‘Great’

Leaders are susceptible to an overblown sense of their own importance.  They are so full of themselves that they are unable to fulfill their purpose.

Humility: Being grounded

In success, the spotlight is always on the leader.  They will be surrounded by cheerleaders who may sing praises in their honor that could potentially feed into their ‘ego’.  Leaders may start to think that it is all about them, especially so when their team or organization is winning.

The greater the accomplishment, the greater the need to check their egos. That’s why it’s so important that they remain grounded. The most important quality of a leader is humility.  Unlike leaders who hog all the credit for the success of their team and organization, true leaders are those who are honest about their own vulnerability and are able to acknowledge the contribution of others to their success.

Leaders who are humble have a great level of self-awareness and are comfortable in their own skin.  They never feel the need to draw attention to themselves.  They rejoice in the success of others and empower others to succeed and shine.  They are people who have the right perspective.

The story of Prof. Vikram Sarabhai, the father of India’s space program and his leadership is legendary and has often been quoted by Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, former President and father of India’s missile program.  He said, and I quote “When the first rocket was successfully fired from the Thumba Space Station, the whole nation celebrated and congratulatory messages started pouring in from all quarters.  It was during the press meeting that Prof. Sarabhai gave the entire credit to the team and acknowledged the contribution of young scientists like me.  It was so motivating.  He could have so easily hogged all the limelight but chose to push us to the front.  That really was not just a lesson in leadership and humility but set the foundation for the success of all space programs in India.” 

A humble leader is willing to remain in the background, willing to take risks, and comfortable in giving up power and losing a degree of autonomy.  That’s something to be.  Not many leaders are capable of being that.  That is what separates the ‘Great’ from the ‘Good’.

Authenticity

Leaders who are successful are often put on a high pedestal by the people.  In order to remain grounded, the leaders need to get off that pedestal and be part of the crowd or team they lead.

It is possible by being honest and authentic.  Authentic leaders are comfortable in their own skin.  Their goal is always to lift up the people they lead and not have the people lift them up.

They are careful not to allow others to put them on a pedestal.  This can potentially create a gap – a distance between them and those who are less successful.  Those who are inauthentic enjoy this gap, and do all they can to protect that image, always trying to stay above the crowd.  This does nothing more than make the gap even bigger and larger.

Authentic leaders work hard to bridge that gap. They are open about their failures and shortcomings. They have a good laugh at themselves. When they are asked to speak, they keep introductions very short and simple.  They rather prefer to talk about the work their team does and the contributions of others.   They walk among the people and connect with them before and after their time on the stage. They do all they can to be who they are without pretense.

Higher calling: born to do

Another quality of great leaders is that they don’t just work towards a purpose but have a ‘calling’ that wakes them up every day and charges their batteries.  That ‘higher-calling’ is what makes them tireless in the pursuit of their dreams.  It is their ‘calling’ that not just drives them but ‘compels’ them to do what they do.  It is something they feel they were ‘born to do’.  It is who they are, what they know, and what they love to do.

When you work to your higher calling you are not really looking at your benefit but the benefit of others.  They are the people who lead a life that they are not trying to ‘escape’ from.

There is no greater joy than doing what you were ‘Created’ for.

You would never want to become a leader so full of yourself that you are unable to fulfill your purpose. Leaders who are not grounded become unstable.

You must always check to make sure that you remain grounded. If you maintain humility, display authenticity, and remain true to your calling, the chances are good that you’ll be able to keep your feet on the ground and move from ‘good’ to ‘great’.

I have been reviewing leadership profiles as part of custom designing leadership development programs in over 60 major corporations.  I see that most organizations describe the behavioral indicators for leadership that is so obvious. They include behaviors like “communicates a clear vision,” “helps people to develop to their maximum potential,” “strives to see the value of differing opinions,” and “avoids playing favorites.”

Not one has ever included the desired behavior that read “effectively sucks up to senior management and to the board”.

Given the overwhelming data that goes to show how often such behavior is rewarded in organizations, I thought “sucking up” should probably make it to the list and as the number one indicator for you to succeed.

While almost every company I’ve worked with says it wants people to “challenge the system” and to “be empowered to express your opinion” and “say what you really think,”; I come across a lot of performers who are stuck as they are not so much into sucking up.

It’s not just that companies claim to dislike and discourage such behaviors, even leaders say so in no uncertain terms.

Almost all the leaders say that they would never encourage such a thing in their teams and organizations. I am at no point doubting their sincerity in this regard.  I am sure you get disgusted easily by those so-called “a**e li***rs. 

That raises an important question: If leaders say they discourage sucking up, why does such behavior dominate the workplace? I must argue that these leaders are generally very adept at sizing up people and calibrating their responses based on continual interactions.  Yet, most seem to fall prey to people who are highly skilled at suck-ups. They still end up playing favorites.

The problem possibly could be that they are not able to see in themselves, what they so clearly see in others.  They might not realize that all along they might be sending subtle signals that encourage their team members to be mute on their criticisms and be high on their praise for the powers that be.

I worked under one such manager who used to get the jitters when I used to challenge my top management on issues that demanded their attention.  He always used to pull me aside and advise that I shouldn’t be raising these issues and that the management is already aware of the matter.  I used to see him always singing praises of his bosses even when some of their ideas sucked.

It surprises me how some leaders and managers cannot see it in themselves. Now you may think “this doesn’t apply to me.” Maybe you’re right. But how can you be so sure you’re not in denial?

Let me take an example.  Ask anyone who has ever owned a dog or heard stories from those who own one as to “who gets their maximum attention and affection at home?”.  Almost unanimously they say it’s their dog.  Ask them why?  They reply in unison that they do because they get unconditional love, the dogs never talk back at them, they never argue and accept whatever is given to them.  What they don’t realize is that the dogs suck up to them.  Most people unabashedly claim that they like those who can accept them for who they are.  What in effect they are trying to tell you is that no matter my idiosyncrasies, please suck up to me.

If we aren’t careful, we can end up treating people at work like dogs. Rewarding those who heap unthinking, unconditional admiration upon us. What behavior do we get in return? A virulent case of promoting the suck-ups. The net result is obvious. You end up encouraging behavior that serves you, but not necessarily the best interests of your organization.

As a leader, you can change all that and do the best for your team by first acknowledging that you have a tendency to favor those who favor you, even if you don’t mean to.

ARE YOU A SUCKER FOR SUCK-UPS?

A quick analysis by answering the following questions will provide you with a measure.

“In your meetings with your team, do you often get more people agreeing to your line or keeping quiet when compared to those who oppose or provide contrarian views?” 

“Do you like people who openly challenge some of the decisions or proposals you make?

If you have fewer challenges and like people who toe your line, then that’s the indicator that you are playing favorites and growing suck-ups in your company.  I know it will be hard to accept but being honest with yourself will be the beginning of taking your leadership to the level of authenticity that it demands.  A quick analysis like this is not sufficient and deeper analysis will be required by seeking feedback.

INTERESTED to KNOW IF YOU HAVE BEEN BUILDING A SUCK-UP CULTURE IN YOUR COMPANY?

ASK for your LEADERSHIP ASSESSMENT 👇🏼

I was all 24 yrs. when I started my journey as an entrepreneur, and I felt so alone in facing the challenges in making my dreams become a reality.  I felt I had nowhere to go to share my struggles of which there were plenty.  No one to exchange ideas and to learn from those who had taken that path before I did and committed mistakes. 

I had no support from family or friends as they thought I was crazy to leave a well-paying job and risking everything to pursue something of which there were no guarantees. Well, I guess, that’s the case with anything in life, isn’t it?

With every misstep, self-doubt started to creep in and ate away at my confidence, my dreams, vision and eventually taking a toll on my health.

Well, they say entrepreneurship is a lonely profession and it felt like that to me at that time!

It was during one of my travels that I met a fellow traveler who had like me taken the leap of faith about 10 years ago.  He could relate to what I was going through and gave me a few tips on how he overcame the challenges which I was experiencing at the start.  I must confess they were pearls of wisdom that put me right back on track.  One suggestion he gave me was to be part of some peer group of like-minded entrepreneurs, which could be an effective antidote to my loneliness.

He quoted from the book “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill, “No mind is complete by itself. It needs contact and association with other minds to grow and expand.”

He told me, “Sree don’t try to be like Atlas, carrying the burden of the whole world on your shoulders”, why don’t you find people who could share some of it and also support you in the process?  He referred me to a group he was part of, and that changed me completely.  It helped me readjust to my struggles and took a lot of weight off my shoulders.

I quickly realized that on my own, I could only have a limited amount of experience, education, and training. Being part of a Peer Advisory Group, I could tap into the experience, training, skills, knowledge, and resources of like-minded peers and mentors which could fast track my learning curve and provide me with the much-needed energy to pursue my goals.

I realized quickly and in the very first meeting that one could not separate personal and professional life in silos and how one’s personal life had a deep impact on our business decisions and how our decisions at work impacted our personal lives.

It’s now 26 years since I started this journey, and I can say with absolute confidence that being part of a Peer Advisory Group was the best thing that happened to me.  It helped me transcend the barriers of self-doubt, low confidence, anxiety, and poor health to being a more self-confident person.

Some benefits from a long list are worth a mention here;

1. Helped improve mental wellness the peer group connect helped me to cope with the challenges of feeling isolated and lonely.
   1. Helped me leverage from the insights and experiences of people from diverse backgrounds.
   2. Learn critical skills of negotiating tough deals, having difficult conversations, managing finances and dealing with investors
   3. Broaden my knowledge to include aspects of entrepreneurship which you normally come to learn long after committing mistakes
   4. Diverse perspectives as I listened to the problems others shared and put my own challenges in context.
   5. Referral business as I always had someone who knew somebody else who could be my potential customer.  I must say, referrals to this date have kept my business engine growing by leaps and bounds.

Peer Advisory Groups enable not just learning about ourselves but is a good reminder of how far we have reached, what we overcame, and of our accomplishments.

So whether you are dreaming of starting something on your own, a startup entrepreneur, an aspiring ‘C’ Suite executive, being part of a Peer Advisory Group can definitely fast track you towards achieving your goals.  Not to forget contribute positively to your physical and mental wellness.

You don’t want to waste your precious time “Re-inventing the wheel” do you?

JOIN a Leadership Peer Advisory Group near you!  

Being a business owner comes with so many wonderful things. However, it comes with its own set of challenges as well, such as a feeling that you cannot possibly share the challenges you are encountering with your friends, family, or team members lest you may come across as someone who is not up to the task of entrepreneurship.

You don’t want to be seen as someone who made the bad choice of starting your own business. You don’t want to be seen as vulnerable. It does at times become so lonely at the top.

It doesn’t have to be that way if you choose to join a peer advisory group which might be the perfect remedy for all the challenges that come with business ownership.

I want to list 10 compelling reasons for you to consider taking this most important leap.

1. You deserve unique insights and support. As much as you as an individual is unique, so is your business. As a business owner the challenges and pressures you face may be unique as well. Having a well-established group of your peers to discuss problems with during a peer advisory group enabler meeting can truly be a game-changer for you and your business. The diversity of the group will provide you with a safe space for you to fully open up to possibilities. You can get unbiased advice from non-competing business owners, who would wish only the best for you.
2. It offers more than just business value. While you may join a peer advisory group to bring more value to your company you get more than chasing just your business dreams. Like minded business owners can offer much needed support which then could have a positive rub-off on you personally, your family and bring with it a better work-life balance. It will be surely more than what you signed up for.
3. The opportunity to share and care. Being part of a Peer Advisory Group is not just about getting advice, you will find opportunities to help other business owners in areas where you excel. It is reciprocal and goes a long way in building your personal brand and reputation as well.
4. It helps you build your leadership capability. Learning and developing key business leadership skills is crucial for business owners. Your peer advisory group led by an experienced facilitator and your peers will push you to develop your leadership skills through peer-to-peer coaching and mentorship. It will act as a great resource pool of lived experiences, teaching leadership lessons which no training program can provide and is worth its weight in gold.
5. Helps you avoid mistakes. As a business owner, learning by committing mistakes and failures may not always be ideal and can be demotivating as well. It could deplete you of energies which are much needed for you to focus on growing your business than learning costly lessons. Being part of a peer advisory group, you could well save yourself from the huge cost of such mistakes by learning from each other’s mistakes.
6. Saves you the huge costs of hiring a personal group of advisors. Having your own personal board of advisors for business may cost you a lot and at times can be constraining giving you limited flexibility. Having joined a peer advisory group you not only save the costs of retainer fees but benefit from a diverse board which can help you upskill faster.
7. Helps you harness the power of collective. The fact that you have other business owners and leaders, you already will have an existing resource pool, structure and tools to help you keep moving forward in your journey. The power of the collective helps you to be more proactive.
8. You will overcome the tunnel vision effect. As business owners, unconsciously we surround ourselves with people who tend to agree with us more. Those who are willing to toe the line of our thoughts and ideas. It happens a lot with business owners.  Most small business owners will find teams who seem to show their agreement just so that they are in your good books. That however is not always productive. There is a need for us be open to alternative ideas, embrace different perspectives, be challenged, disagreed with and pushed to think outside our own little box. A peer advisory group can help with that as all in the group are there to learn and grow and have no other agenda. 
9. Brings greater accountability. Peer pressure brings with it greater accountability. The fact that we will have to face up to our peer group regularly adds a positive peer pressure, pushing you into moving forward with your goals. It builds great ownership.
10. Provides you with great opportunities and friendship. Being vulnerable and helping each other grow the business, peer advisory groups not just open up great opportunities for your business, but it also builds strong bonds with your peer group, who you can continue to rely upon in the long term. It builds friendship.

Peer Advisory Groups enable you to push yourself outside your comfort zones.  That’s where breakthroughs happen and you grow your business, take it to the next level.

Joining a Leadership Peer Advisory Group will be the smartest thing you did!

Take initiative, be creative!

So, the boss told.

It took time and thought,

Before I could be bold.

What stops you from taking initiative?

So, the boss asked.

So, I did sir!

Here it is and I refer.

You should have checked with me before?

Did you have the permission for?

I was about to sir!

The lines were a little blur.

I thought of it so long,

That I could start strong.

There you go “thought”!

Would you be kind to leave me that thinking.

I had a feeling that it would bring a dime,

But didn’t want it to eat into your time.

“feelings”, why don’t you leave your emotions home?

You are at work and not home!

All this your sensitivity,

Emotional proclivity.

Bugs me to the core,

Always when they come to the fore.

From now, do as you are told,

As the demands of business behold.

Yes sir, I told,

I will do as your ideas hold.

I am not bemused,

It’s just that the monkey is confused!

Thought….

Leaders commit so many mistakes and most relate to their communication style. Often there is a paradox.

You find that leaders expect people to take initiatives, and at the first instance, reprimand them for not seeking their permissions before doing so. They talk about mutual-respect and rarely do they of their employees. They talk of integrity and each action goes to contradict their talk. They talk about innovation and are seen to play the conservative game all of the time. They say they are people centric but in all their communication they say, people may come and go but the organization remains and results matter.

Are you a business leader committing these mistakes?

by the way openness and the comfort of being vulnerable is touted as one of the great ‘Leadership traits’

So don’t be afraid to confront your reality!

Talk to me if you are looking for 1:1 Coaching or An assessment of your Leadership.

Just send me this contact form 👇 and I will get in touch with you.

You Will Be Glad You Did!

At that time, Mullah Naseeruddin was appointed as the king’s procurator. 

His job as a treasurer was to judiciously use the money to procure various commodities and properties that were required for the state.  He had to be an expert in valuation of things he wished to procure.

He would buy Horses, Elephants, Weaponry, Gold, Silver, Clothing, Grains and so on for the kingdom and pay the merchants who brought them.

Mullah Naseeruddin was a very capable procurator as he ensured that the kingdom always had abundance of what it required for sustenance and security.  He would ensure that whatever he bought was of the highest quality and at the best valuation.  This in turn ensured that while the kingdom always had what they wanted, their coffers would also not run empty.

He always thought of saving for a rainy day and apportioned a part of the kingdom’s wealth for meeting any eventuality in the future.

Mullah Nasseruddin was also a very good administrator making sure that the economy was in good shape with a continual flow of necessities and trade.  He was also very fair-minded in his dealings with all the merchants who came from far and wide and always was prompt in his payments.  This kept the merchants happy and they would always bring commodities of the highest quality for the Mullah to purchase. 

Thanks to Mullah Nasseruddin the name of the kingdom and the king spread far and wide as a place to do trade with.

The King however did not see the value of the Mullah to the kingdom.  He was a miser and felt that the Mullah was depleting his coffers by expending a lot of money.  At this rate I would soon be bankrupt he thought.

“It’s time I replace the Mullah with someone who is as miserly as me, as thoughtful as me in spending money, and who could buy things at a very cheap price” he thought.

He found a very easy way to find such a person.  He looked out of the window and found some of his attendants standing and chatting away doing nothing.  He called out to one of his attendants and asked him to appear in his courtroom immediately.

The attendant went as ordered by his king, fearful of the possible consequences from this sudden call from his majesty.

As the attendant stood, frightened, the King announced in the courtroom “From today, you shall be my procurator in place of Mullah Nasseruddin”

The courtroom fell silent by this order, but no one, not even Mullah wanted to defy the King’s order.  As the Mullah bowed to his King, and walked out of the courtroom, he had a faint smile on his face.

The king had come up with this plan as he thought that an ordinary attendant without any rank or status would buy nothing without haggling and would be more economical in his purchases.  But, this man was quite a fool which the king was soon to find out.

The new procurator could not distinguish between a donkey and a horse, but was as the king thought an expert in offering astoundingly low value for anything he had to buy.

The merchants who came from far off places, started to feel the pinch of low value being offered for their high quality goods.  They couldn’t argue with the procurator as he was specially chosen by the king and anyone who went against his will would have to face his wrath.

In his enthusiasm to buy cheap, the procurator went ahead and purchased anything and everything which could come at a very low price, no matter the quality and the quantity.  He didn’t have the sense to understand what was required for the efficient running of the kingdom.

Within no time, the storehouse was filled with a whole lot of rubbish which had no value or use to the kingdom.  The merchants started to make heavy losses and to compensate, started to bring inferior quality products to the kingdom.

The storehouse was turning into a junkyard of unwanted goods.

The kingdom’s reputation started to get tarnished as the merchants carried the message far and wide.

One day, the King came to know of a merchant who had arrived with about 500 horses of the finest quality.  He ordered his procurator to purchase all of them.

The new procurator found this as an excellent opportunity to impress his King.

He ordered the merchant to supply all of the horses to the King’s stable and in return offered a measure of rice.  “Be happy that the King even considered to buy your horses.  You are lucky to be of service to our great King” he proclaimed.

The merchant was dejected as a measure of rice was not even worth the price of one horse and here was this man who was offering that for 500 horses.

As he went back to his stable to get the horses, he found Mullah Nasseruddin on the way.  “Why are you looking sad and dejected?” asked the Mullah.

The merchant narrated the whole incident and then asked Mullah to come to his aid as he didn’t’ want to make so much loss in this trade.  It was a matter of his survival.

Mullah Nasseruddin pondered over the problem and then said “When you go to the courtroom tomorrow to receive the payment for your horses, ask the procurator in front of the King and all the witnesses in the courtroom, as to how much he is willing to pay for the horses.  And when the procurator says – a measure of rice, please ask him what is the value of a measure of rice?” 

Let’s see what happens next.  Don’t worry, I will be present in the courtroom as well.

Next day in the courtroom in front of all the witnesses and the King, the merchant asked the procurator “Sir, I bring the finest horses to you, no one in this entire world has bred such horses.  What value do you have to offer for these finest of the fine breed?”

“A measure of rice ofcourse, as I had already told you yesterday” the procurator said and turned to his King for receiving the acknowledgement for getting such a low price.

“And Sir, may I ask you before these witnesses, how much value is a measure of rice?” the merchant asked as advised by the Mullah.

The boastful procurator wanted to show that a measure of rice from the king was invaluable replied “As anyone in this courtroom will tell you, a measure of rice is equal to the value of this entire kingdom and all the territories under its rule” bragged the procurator.

He was obviously wanting to show as any good bargainer that what he was willing to pay was much more in value than the commodity he was buying. 

Listening to this, all the courtiers burst out laughing at the foolishness of the procurator.  Some even made jokes as to how they could gobble up an entire kingdom with one meal.  How all of them could procure many kingdoms with the amount of rice they had stored in their houses.

Some of them even chided the procurator to buy them a kingdom with one measure of rice, as they continued to laugh at the stupidity of the man.

The only people in the court who did not laugh at this enjoy the joke were the foolish procurator and the King who had employed him without much thought.  The king bowed his head in shame for appointing such a fool who had made himself and the King a laughing stock in front of his courtiers.

Mullah Naseeruddin saw the predicament of the King and wanted to put a stop at all the jokes and banter which were going around.  “Do not mock a man for his ignorance.  When a man entrusted with a job for which he is not qualified he is bound to make a laughing stock of himself sooner or later.  It is not the poor fellows fault that he was appointed as a procurator”

Hearing this the King, raised his head and said “It was my fault O Mullah Nasseruddin.  I have learnt my lesson.  I understand, no one can do wrong except the King”

The king at once removed the procurator from the post and appointed the Mullah back to the job he had so astutely performed.

Reflections:

1. Are you able to relate to the characters in this story? Namely the King, Mullah Naseeruddin, New Procurator, Merchants, the Horse trader, the Courtiers?
2. What did you learn from each character?
3. Do you find similarities in your life at work and at home?
4. What leadership lesson is there for you in this story?