Have you been a victim of ‘Hurt Collectors’? or are you one?

“Hurt collection” to a great extent stems from and arises from the fear and paranoia of past life events which have left a deep scar.  It combines well with your uncompromising ideology.

It acts as a support to vindicate and keep fresh all of the past events and magnifies its relevance in the present.  That for me is the single most important factor contributing to a stagnated life; a life which is bereft of positive change and progress.  It’s like garbage collection and if you collect more, the stench is unbearable and never leaves you and those around you.

Most of us are surrounded by hurt collectors or are ourselves one!  We keep all the past negative events fresh in our memory and try to justify our actions just as an excuse of our inner fears and anxiety.  We tend to externalize and project our condition or current state to be a result of what others did to us or what we experienced.

When a parent stops a child from making some changes by narrating how in the past he has suffered because of some misadventures, what they are doing is a ‘hurt narration’.  When parents make remarks like “you can’t trust anybody in this world, most are out to get you” what they are doing is probably carrying past baggage and trying to lead a life of the past.  Statements like “when I was your age, I did try to do something different, but was severely reprimanded by my dad”  or “I have had a tough life growing up with no support from anyone and so don’t you expect anything different now” is all an indicator of deep rooted hurt collection mindset.

Sometimes even culturally you become ‘hurt collectors’ always carrying the past legacies of events which didn’t go your way and responding to the current based on that.

Hurt collectors stop people from making a fresh start and think differently.  By constantly reminding you of the past events and creating a sense of fear or despair they stop people from progress. They not only hurt others but also hurt themselves in the process.

Even organizations are affected by this ‘hurt collecting’ mindset and culture.  Employees carry their personal and professional hurts from the past and keep on blaming others and the whole world and build stories around it as well.  It takes a toll on the mental health of the organization as a whole.  It stops people from progressing.  The fear and paranoia is felt all around.  People keep seeking for reasons outside of themselves to blame and maintain a status-quo.

This impacts the following:

  1. Your ability to adapt
  2. Your ability to embrace diversity
  3. Your sense of ownership
  4. Your ability to collaborate
  5. Your ability to innovate, accelerate and progress and
  6. Your interpersonal relationships

There are so many types of hurt collectors in this world like;

  1. Parents
  2. Teachers
  3. Peers
  4. Bosses
  5. Spouses
  6. Nation and even;
  7. You

What kind of ‘hurt collectors’ have you experienced?  What has been their impact on you?  Are you yourselves a ‘Hurt collector’?