Hello and welcome to the second episode of your “AN IDIOTS GUIDE TO SUCCESS”.
Today I am going to talk about 3 most powerful tools in your arsenal Justifying, Blaming and Whining.
God! Imagine how you would have survived in this chaotic world without the power of these 3 tools!
For me, they have been always a life-saving companion on road to success.
In the last episode we spoke about NOT taking responsibility. Is that enough. No! – you have to back it up with powerful justifications of why you cannot accomplish something and how others are to blame for your condition.
Remember, you must master your story-telling abilities to weave convincing ‘victim stories’.
You have to always take the position that you never ever had the power to make things different for yourself. That it was some higher power which had already confirmed the results you are going to get.
You must consciously choose ignorance, lack of awareness, fear and needing to feel safe as a way to justify your present.
If something doesn’t turn out as you expected, then ask “Why does it always have to be me?”, “Why did I not choose one action over the other?”, “Why do people treat me that way?”, “How can I learn ‘choosing not to choose’?”
I have been reading up a lot on the need to ‘respond’ and not ‘react’ to events. I was told that it will change the outcome.
Damn! How am I expected to ‘respond’ when I do not have the knowledge nor the skills to comprehend what is happening? The only thing in such situation I could do is ‘react’ – fight or flight!
I choose to ‘react’ and you could too. Forget all the semantics and just goddamn react to situations. Don’t complain if you get eaten up by a Lion in your pursuit to ‘pause’ and respond as some would make you believe.
Use blame to cover your failures and the lack of results. It will give you great comfort and a stress free life. You can blame the economy, the lack of money, your lack of education, gender bias, the government, your wife or husband, your boss’s attitude, the lack of support and so on. See how much power it gives you. One’s the blame is done, you can focus on what you need to do – here and now!
Being a sportsman myself, I have learnt to use blame to motivate myself to face another day, another game and keep moving forward without getting depressed. When we used to lose a game of hockey, we would collectively blame the referee for his bias, blame the pitch for not being fit for play, the opposition for cheating, the weather not being conducive to a game, our kit which did not arrive before the start of the match, lack of warm-up facilities in the stadium, being away from home and playing in front of partisan and hostile spectators.
Do you see, by the time I finished my quota of blame, I could go back to bed with a clear mind and look forward to another day with enthusiasm?
I was never one for over analyzing after a lost game. Mind you, with all this blaming, whining and justifying, we did get a podium finish in a national level tournament. I learnt, it pays to do that all the time and remain sane.
Against my coaches advice, I went ahead with my team for a drink and smoke after the match, didn’t waste much time educating myself about the opponents – as that would have clouded my mind and stopped me from ‘reacting’ on the field. I never shied away from ‘gossip’ as it gave a good release from the stressors of the day. I never tried to save for the future and enjoyed the present, indulged in the food I liked which as prescribed might not have been healthy to eat.
If things went wrong, I didn’t hesitate to blame everything on external events and circumstances. It’s a key skill and never ever let go of it. Have an excuse ready for everything. You will be happy that you did.
Who you are today, is the result of the choices you made in the past!
Thank god, I have a poor memory. I never had a good memory of the choices or actions of my past. But you know what, it always helped me to react to the situations just being in the present. Imagine you remembered that you made a huge loss on a stock, you may resist investing in the markets again and stop reacting to what is required today – here and now. The very stock in which you incurred losses would be on an all time high and you would rue the fact that you bloody remembered your past choices.
I am sure most of you have experience with this feeling, especially if you are in the market for stocks.
Keep doing what you do as you will be consistent!
I have always been given good feedback from friends, colleagues and family for not changing. “hey sree you have not changed a bit – I like that” is a common refrain I have heard. So please for god’s sake, don’t change.
There are spin-doctors who are constantly telling you to change, continually improve, manage change process blah blah blah. Please don’t. You have already seen the disastrous impact of the virus mutating.
Complaining is actually very positive.
When do you complain? Have you every pondered over it? You complain only when you are sure that there is something or someone better which exists. Otherwise why would you in the first place?
If you didn’t believe that there was something better, like more money, bigger house, great job, a caring spouse – you couldn’t complain isn’t it?
A complainer always has a ‘vision’ a better image of something. You are powerful as if you are compulsive complainer you are a person with a strong belief that you have power over what you are complaining about.
So complaining is actually very powerful. Keep complaining folks!
Don’t look inwards as some may suggest! – blame!
When things go wrong, please for god’s sake don’t look for answers within you. That’s the worst you could do to yourself. It can more often than not lower our self-confidence and self-esteem. It can make you feel vulnerable and powerless. You may start to think of yourself as an incapable person.
Blaming keeps the wheel of your happiness fortune running. If your spouse complains about you coming late from work, blame your boss and download all the hate you can on how he is ruining your life and how he is not having a great life himself and so on….
If your boss complains about your lack of focus, blame it on your spouse. Tell your boss how your spouse is making life difficult for you at home and that the only place where you feel better is in the office. Narrate horror stories of how, not being blessed to have an understanding spouse is impacting your work-life.
Watch your boss quickly change into an ‘ally’. Enjoy blaming!
Be in the flow – allow everything which happens to you
In order to be powerful you need to be in the flow. Allow everything which is happening to you and don’t try hard to go against the tide. It’s stressful. Did you know that the biggest stressors in life comes when you try and do something different or go against the tide.
“No Pain No Gain” – some will make you believe. I was never for it. You may gain something but did you know the damn pain remains. For example, imagine you worked tirelessly day after day, week after week, year after year to become the most successful business person in the world. The pain you took was that you had to be away from your family, children, spouse, friends and broken relationships.
While you might have gained success, wealth and recognition, did the pain go away? Sorry, it won’t!
So the IDIOTS Guide is “Prefer no pain to gain!” – It will save you your life.
So, please friends, your IDIOT Guide informs you to continue, whining, blaming and justifying. They are not bad. Be happy.
Hope you liked this episode on whine, blame and complain for success? If you did not, then I blame you for not understanding my point. And I don’t hold myself responsible.
If you liked this episode – then hey welcome to the “IDIOTS CLUB”
Have a great day!