Do not focus on ‘Change’!

Any attempt to change from your current state is dependent on the ‘decisions’ you make, and infact starts with a decision.  That’s probably the reason why you are told, in order for you to change, you first need to ‘decide’ that you really need to change.

You do not change your life in a minute, but the decisions you make can change your life in a second.”

Sree Kumar

I was discussing with Dr. Abraham Gerard Meyer about the MindfulChoice Model which he so advocates in making informed decisions and he explained this concept beautifully by correlating change and decision making with the act of driving a vehicle.

I realized that when we drive, we are always presented with choices aka decisions to make – whether to turn right or left, stop or proceed, swerve or bash-on regardless.  He went on to tell me that if we carefully examine, all our decisions are binary and we need to become aware of that first before doing anything.  He went on to add that we must move away from focusing on the ‘Why?’ and start looking at being in the present – the ‘What?’.  There is no point in wallowing in the past, thought past experiences do influence our knowledge in making decisions, they do not help greatly.  In fact if we keep focusing on the ‘why?’ of decisions, we become paralyzed for action.

Imagine, you are stuck in a traffic jam, and you are in the ‘Why?’ mode of thinking and feeling.  ‘Why does it have to be today?’; ‘Why is it happening to me?’, ‘Why don’t the authorities do something about traffic conditions?’ – ‘Why?’ Why? Why? 

Do you see, how it takes you into a negative spiral of thoughts and emotions?  Does it in anyway change your condition?  Probably yes! But for the worse, isn’t it?

Instead, if you move your attention towards the ‘what?’, it will help you remain in the present, analyze the situation you are in currently and make informed choices to either ease the pain or maneuver through the traffic.  I personally have not seen people when faced with an emergency situation while driving, asking the question ‘why’? Instead they unconsciously are focusing on the ‘what’? and take a decision in the moment.  It does not matter whether the decision worked out right or wrong eventually, however, it does move you forward to the next step.  Either way you know whether it worked in your favor or not. 

Let’s say you start asking – What’s happening now? What do I do now? What options do I have now? What?, What?, What?….  You will find that you will be able to act and change your direction effectively to reach your destination.

If we can start to bring the lessons from our driving experiences into our decision making process, it will go a long way in helping us change for the better – affirmative towards change.

It starts with you learning to make MindfulChoice – this Dr. Gerard says, is different from the Mindfulness talk we hear all around us.  The MindfulChoice Model is all about being in the present, focusing on the ‘what?’ and on changing behavior.

Remember, it always is a ‘Decision’ which ‘Changes’ the course of your life!

Here is an interesting video on the ‘MindfulChoice Model’

Published by Sree

Professional Profile Founder and Bibliotherapist 2016 - to present As a bibliotherapist, I use as a medium of storytelling or the reading of specific texts for the purpose of healing and personal transformation. Co-founder and Partner Equinox Consultants 1995 - to present I have over 30 years of experience in the field of Sales, Sales Management, Human Resource Optimization and OD. As a Co-founder and Partner at Equinox, I oversee business development and client partnership apart from facilitating developmental initiatives through assessments, training and executive coaching. As a trainer I have in the last 20 years, co-facilitated and trained over 400,000 professionals at senior, middle and junior management levels, for diverse industry segments. I have special interest in Leadership and Team development, especially facilitating personal transformation through coaching. I thrive when I see large groups and enjoy facilitating large group training interventions using Equinox’s unique and powerful Large Scale Interactive Process tools and methods. I rely on my strengths of making the training highly impacting and enjoyable experience for participating groups. I have facilitated training in organizations like Reserve Bank of India, SEBI, SVP National Police Academy, SBI, Oracle, Microsoft, Dell, Deloitte, Genpact, Wells Fargo, Citibank to name a few. As an assessor At Equinox, I help facilitate the design, development and deployment of assessment tools which help individuals and businesses in augmenting their performance development efforts. I have co-created and developed Equinox’s powerful high performance tool and framework, the S.T.A.R™ Model and related assessment (for Leadership, Coaching, Team and Individuals). Also, actively involved in partnering 360 deployment for our clients who demand more than just training. I am a Certified Reflector Big Five Consultant (A Level ‘B’ Psychometric instrument) As a consultant I help clients optimize human resources by engaging with them with end-to-end transformational solutions. Starting from role and competency mapping, profiling, assessing and creating developmental actions and facilitated coaching and training, I partner client initiatives which guarantee results. I have co-created Equinox’s very own Human Resource Optimization model the S.T.A.R™. As a person I am passionate about social-upliftment and work closely with institutions helping the destitute children and the girl child. Through Equinox’s ‘Build a Life’ program, I also contribute in a small way in making a difference to this world. I like adventures and the risks which go with it. I have been an active sports person, having played hockey at the national level with distinction. I like writing on philosophy and life in general. My links: and Twitter: @sreekumar_india View more posts

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