Are you a ‘Success Seeker’ or a ‘Failure Avoider’?

Do you at times get a feeling that you are being controlled by the ‘consequences’?

When do you think you are not controlled by ‘consequences’?   As for me, you don’t feel controlled when the consequences are pleasant or something good. When you are working to get something which makes you feel contented and fulfilled.

When you are working towards ‘avoiding’ something or to run away from something then you get controlled by the consequences. That’s called negative reinforcement.

Let me give you an example. If you exercise so that you don’t put on weight, decrease your cholesterol levels, keep your heart in condition, to strengthen your muscles then you will be controlled by the consequences. Similarly if you quit smoking or wish to quit smoking because you won’t get cancer or hear attack then it is likely that you won’t quit smoking. There are several instances when such people quit smoking only to restart again. I’ve seen people who have had multiple heart attacks and yet continue to indulge in the activities which could affect their condition. This happens because of the negative reinforcement and the intrinsic motivation is out of fear than out of any possibility of pleasant experiences. If you are of this type you are mostly the ‘failure avoider’ than ‘success seeker’.

So how do you get to become a ‘success seeker’?

First of all you need to change your paradigm. You need to look at the pleasant things which will happen to you cause of your actions. When I quit smoking I see myself taking the stairs up to the 8th floor of a building without a fuss. When you exercise and are fit you can travel the world, play soccer or basketball go trekking and so on…. This is called positive reinforcement. I am sure you are getting my point.

Alas! I see most of you who are still doing things with a lot of negative reinforcement. That’s the reason why you do not enjoy what you do. If you are a student you write exams because it is a ‘requirement’ than an opportunity, you attend classes because it is a requirement and not an opportunity to learn something. The working class go to office as going to office is a requirement to get your salary and make your ends meet. I see nobody going to office ‘to make a difference’. I have heard many of my friends say after a stressful day at office “What do I do, I got to work, I have mortgages to pay, my child’s education, perform my sisters wedding and if I don’t all this will kill me” What are they effectively doing? Avoiding failures than seeking opportunities.

It starts when you wake up; the ‘Alarm Clock’. I wondered why it is not called an ‘Opportunity Clock’.

Before you start your day today to avoid some failure or the other, I urge you to ‘pause’; ‘reflect’ and ‘visualize’ all the pleasant feelings and consequences which you will have by doing something. Try it. Don’t say to yourself “if I sit to visualize I will miss this and that” it is a trap.

Do this everyday and you are well on your way to be a ‘Success Seeker’.

Sree Kumar Palakkal

Published by Sree

Professional Profile Founder and Bibliotherapist thecriticaldialogue.com 2016 - to present As a bibliotherapist, I use thecriticaldialogue.com as a medium of storytelling or the reading of specific texts for the purpose of healing and personal transformation. Co-founder and Partner Equinox Consultants 1995 - to present I have over 30 years of experience in the field of Sales, Sales Management, Human Resource Optimization and OD. As a Co-founder and Partner at Equinox, I oversee business development and client partnership apart from facilitating developmental initiatives through assessments, training and executive coaching. As a trainer I have in the last 20 years, co-facilitated and trained over 400,000 professionals at senior, middle and junior management levels, for diverse industry segments. I have special interest in Leadership and Team development, especially facilitating personal transformation through coaching. I thrive when I see large groups and enjoy facilitating large group training interventions using Equinox’s unique and powerful Large Scale Interactive Process tools and methods. I rely on my strengths of making the training highly impacting and enjoyable experience for participating groups. I have facilitated training in organizations like Reserve Bank of India, SEBI, SVP National Police Academy, SBI, Oracle, Microsoft, Dell, Deloitte, Genpact, Wells Fargo, Citibank to name a few. As an assessor At Equinox, I help facilitate the design, development and deployment of assessment tools which help individuals and businesses in augmenting their performance development efforts. I have co-created and developed Equinox’s powerful high performance tool and framework, the S.T.A.R™ Model and related assessment (for Leadership, Coaching, Team and Individuals). Also, actively involved in partnering 360 deployment for our clients who demand more than just training. I am a Certified Reflector Big Five Consultant (A Level ‘B’ Psychometric instrument) As a consultant I help clients optimize human resources by engaging with them with end-to-end transformational solutions. Starting from role and competency mapping, profiling, assessing and creating developmental actions and facilitated coaching and training, I partner client initiatives which guarantee results. I have co-created Equinox’s very own Human Resource Optimization model the S.T.A.R™. As a person I am passionate about social-upliftment and work closely with institutions helping the destitute children and the girl child. Through Equinox’s ‘Build a Life’ program, I also contribute in a small way in making a difference to this world. I like adventures and the risks which go with it. I have been an active sports person, having played hockey at the national level with distinction. I like writing on philosophy and life in general. My links: http://www..equinox.co.in and Twitter: @sreekumar_india View more posts

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